1. The kid who feels the need to question the professor at every turn. This guy won't allow the professor to get through the lecture, because he has to raise his hand to interrupt with what he thinks are deep insights or pressing questions after every sentence. I shit you not, this is an excerpt of what happened during my developmental psychology lecture today:
PROF: So I want you all to imagine that you're the CEO of a hospital, and you have to decide if Neonatal Behavioral Assessment Scale training is worth investing money in-
DUMBASS: Well what's the bottom line for the hospital?
PROF: Uh... huh?
DUMBASS: I mean, how much money total do you have to allocate to different areas? Are there other areas, such as equipment upkeep, that may be more pressing?
PROF: I...I don't know, I'm just saying, try to think like a psychologist and look at the evidence presented by studies done on the effectiveness of NBAS training as it relates to parenting ability-
DUMBASS: Well, if you're the CEO you could technically charge the parents for the training, and even if it doesn't work, you would make even more money later theoretically by charging them again for further therapy.
PROF: ...Jesus Christ. I just meant-
DUMBASS: I'm just saying, it makes fiscal sense either way.
...And it went on like this for another hour and a half. Hey idiot, YOU'RE MISSING THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT. This ain't a business class, it's a psychology course. You succeeded in pointing out that the professor's scenario wasn't entirely bulletproof, but then again, that's not what we're here to learn about, is it? Maybe if you'd let the prof finish his thought instead of jumping to try to prove that you're smarter than him, even you could figure that out.
The worst part is, I understand how these people think, because I'm guilty of it myself sometimes. They think that their intellect is so vastly superior to the rest of us that they're actually doing us a favor by gracing us with their knowledge. They think the rest of us are mesmerized by their genius, and we're thinking to ourselves, "Man that guy's smart. Why isn't he teaching the class? He knows more than the professor!" I'll admit, sometimes I get the feeling that I'm surrounded by a bunch of drooling retards, and that they could all learn something from me. The difference is, I have the common decency to KEEP MY FUCKING TRAP SHUT, because I recognize that not only am I most likely wrong in that assumption, but also that I as well as everyone else in the class paid to learn from my professor- a man who has spent more years of his life working in this field than not- and not some second-year asshole in the first row. If you really know more than the professor, do us all a favor and drop out and conduct your own studies, and then promptly get laughed out of the scientific community faster than people who "don't believe in evolution" (another group of dumbshits that piss me off, but that's another subject entirely).
We don't think you're smart, and we aren't amazed by your rambling and often erroneous insights. Mostly we're just pissed off that you're robbing us of the education we could be getting without you making us more stupid. If you really want to show off how smart you are while being a complete dickhead, that's what the internet is for. Well, that and titties.
2. The people who talk/look at facebook during class. I first encountered this my very first semester of my freshman year, and it's never ceased to baffle me. Sure, in the classes that are set up in huge lecture halls, you can get away with talking and not paying attention during class. But...why would you do that? Hey fucktard, you're PAYING to be here. Paying out the ass. And I don't really care about that; if you like to waste money, fine. What I do care about however is the fact that I am paying out the ass to be here as well, and your inane chatter is drowning out the professor.
Facebook is even worse, because believe it or not, when you're on your laptop in the row in front of me looking at your hot girl friend's "LyKe OMG CaLi TrIp!!!!1" album, wherein she's mostly wearing a thong and not much more, then yeah, it's fucking distracting. It's a little hard to listen to my ex-Social Distortion fanclub president professor drone on and on about mitochondrion and leukoplasts when you're looking at titties right in front of me. And while titties are infinitely more interesting than cellular structure, I'd kinda like to pass the exam, which oh by the way is FUCKING TOMORROW! And some of us (me) are set to graduate at the end of this semester, which of course is entirely contingent upon me passing this class. So if you could maybe be respectful and look at titties on your own time like I do, that would just be super.
I swear to God. The bottom line: if you're going to talk or waste your time on facebook and not pay attention during class, then...why even come to class at all? Seriously, you aren't getting anything out of it, and thanks to you, neither am I. Hell, why even go to college?